Looking for Feedback

Since I'm taking a more "relaxed" approach to game development for now, I thought it would be a good time to improve some areas I might be weak in. So I'd like feedback from anyone and everyone on about where you think my writing could improve. I'd like to hear issues relating to characters, story, prose, or narrative that you have with any of my games. Please leave feedback at http://ironsnowflakes.blogspot.com/2015/12/critique-my-writing.html (you do not need an account to leave a comment).

Only thing I ask is that your feedback is CONSTRUCTIVE. This is not the place to vent your anger at me or my games. That's what Steam reviews are for, it seems.