BrainMates

Say hello to Brainmates! The all new breakthrough in crew compression technology.

Our BrainMates device, inspired by the work of the Boarding pod and the Clown Crate, has the ability to not only squish those pesky crewmates into a compact and sleek storage device, but to simultaneously implement them within your brain's neuronic environment. Through experimentation with the scientific theorem known as "Get In There Goddamit" we've developed groundbreaking technologies to inexpensively, and securely, compress organic matter of the human variety into a manageable space.

When developing the Brainmate, we kept compatability and ease-of-use in mind. Use of the device is as simple as having the target press the 4th-dimensional "E" button over the device, and inserting it into a compatible gene splicer mechanism.

We guarantee our Brainmates device will satisfy your crew storage needs entirely, and we at Belruga inc. hope for your return.

(All purchases final. Condition of device not guaranteed. WARNING: Side effects of prolonged use may include: Sleep Apnea, Insomnia, Confusion, Brain rot, degeneration of grey matter, swapping of memories, mixing of memories, Psychosis, Mood swings, Voices, paralysis, and Brain death. Belruga Inc. is not responsible for symptoms caused by lack of maintenance, prolonged use, or damage to the device.)